Originally posted on Friday, June 6, 2008 at 9:25pm ·
Here are a couple of short stories
that happened over the past week;
Breakroom conversation;
- I'm going to Wisconsin next week.
- Oh yeah? Why?
- I'm going to a wedding.
- Whose?
- Uhhhhhhhhh, mine. (snicker) Yeah, I'm getting married. You didn't know? (smirk, and a pause) I think it's gonna be pretty good.
This then grew into many jokes throughout the day that resulted in a lot of confused coworkers and congratulations that made for incredibly entertaining efforts at explanation.
On Thursday, we were given the task of scrubbing a linoleum floor in a office bathroom.....that my team had cleaned the day before. But, this scrubbing job was extra special. We had to go back to Accommo HQ and pick up a chemical called Knockout. Appropriately named. The woman in charge of inventory became slightly concerned when we told her we needed it and then told us that they actually discontinued using it because they had to send several people down to the hospital from inhalation of the fumes. Yeah! I was thinking, The rest of the day off! Alas, safety comes first. The bathroom we were supposed to use it in is broom closet-sized, in a walk-in closet-sized office,(i.e. no ventalation) and is the workplace of the central information staff- eh, they're expendable right?
And now.....What you've been waiting for......the Funny of the day.....
I wish I could actually type out the sound of a drum roll.
Ta-da!
So, I've decided I want to live in a hole in the ground, with no windows. And if I want to go outside, I'll make the effort and open the door to go out. Because glass is a hassle. I spent three hours today cleaning windows. And these are not your ordinary, 'Oh, look at the garden' windows. Oh no, these are mongo 8 foot by 10 foot sheets of glass conveniently stuck into walls two feet off of the ground and placed with a foot of wall in between each one around a gigantic dining room. Now, I suppose this is a needless reminder but, I am not twelve feet tall. Which means I perfected the jump&swipe today and I probably looked like I had laced fruit loops for breakfast.
I cleaned that glass with excellence though, and I know, because I walked into one of the sliding glass doors in an attempt to head outside. Then, I had to clean that door again. Thus I discovered the deception of windows. They make you feel like you are actually in another place that you are not, that you can move beyond your current location with ease. The bruise on my forehead says otherwise. And with all that glass I can now empathize with goldfish.
If I ever have a pet fish I have devised a clever combatant to the deception of glass. You still keep the fish in a glass or clear plastic container, but you paint black lines like prison bars on a strip of saran wrap and wrap it around the glass. No more lies. Tell your fish the truth.
Breakroom conversation;
- I'm going to Wisconsin next week.
- Oh yeah? Why?
- I'm going to a wedding.
- Whose?
- Uhhhhhhhhh, mine. (snicker) Yeah, I'm getting married. You didn't know? (smirk, and a pause) I think it's gonna be pretty good.
This then grew into many jokes throughout the day that resulted in a lot of confused coworkers and congratulations that made for incredibly entertaining efforts at explanation.
On Thursday, we were given the task of scrubbing a linoleum floor in a office bathroom.....that my team had cleaned the day before. But, this scrubbing job was extra special. We had to go back to Accommo HQ and pick up a chemical called Knockout. Appropriately named. The woman in charge of inventory became slightly concerned when we told her we needed it and then told us that they actually discontinued using it because they had to send several people down to the hospital from inhalation of the fumes. Yeah! I was thinking, The rest of the day off! Alas, safety comes first. The bathroom we were supposed to use it in is broom closet-sized, in a walk-in closet-sized office,(i.e. no ventalation) and is the workplace of the central information staff- eh, they're expendable right?
And now.....What you've been waiting for......the Funny of the day.....
I wish I could actually type out the sound of a drum roll.
Ta-da!
So, I've decided I want to live in a hole in the ground, with no windows. And if I want to go outside, I'll make the effort and open the door to go out. Because glass is a hassle. I spent three hours today cleaning windows. And these are not your ordinary, 'Oh, look at the garden' windows. Oh no, these are mongo 8 foot by 10 foot sheets of glass conveniently stuck into walls two feet off of the ground and placed with a foot of wall in between each one around a gigantic dining room. Now, I suppose this is a needless reminder but, I am not twelve feet tall. Which means I perfected the jump&swipe today and I probably looked like I had laced fruit loops for breakfast.
I cleaned that glass with excellence though, and I know, because I walked into one of the sliding glass doors in an attempt to head outside. Then, I had to clean that door again. Thus I discovered the deception of windows. They make you feel like you are actually in another place that you are not, that you can move beyond your current location with ease. The bruise on my forehead says otherwise. And with all that glass I can now empathize with goldfish.
If I ever have a pet fish I have devised a clever combatant to the deception of glass. You still keep the fish in a glass or clear plastic container, but you paint black lines like prison bars on a strip of saran wrap and wrap it around the glass. No more lies. Tell your fish the truth.
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