Originally posted on Friday, June 26, 2009 at 8:12pm ·
Generally Preposterous Suggestions-
I hate GPS's. I think my loathing began several years ago when my dad had just
gotten his first GPS toy and got hooked on using it to go geo-caching.
Geo-caching, for those who don't know is where you type in coordinates from a
geo-cache website and then machete your way through forests and crawl through
blazing deserts to uncover a gallon size ziploc of random nickel-worthy garage
sale items so that you can remove one item and replace it with another and know
that you have now officially geo-cached. Congratulations, pin that invisible award
on your invisible Geo-Scout vest, Russell Random.
In any case, we were out looking for a geo-cache and the GPS told us to follow this small "path" off of the road. So like good little humans we marched out into this overgrown marsh-field thing, dutifully following the talking tech box. After a while my sister and I were doubting the GPS and the fence 400 feet away was looking more and more like a better place to be. "Are you sure about this dad? there's a fence between us and the road." "Yes Jenna, the GPS is still showing a path." "Ooookkkkkay...?" I replied doubtfully. I guess the sun finally started to bother him because he gave up on the geo-cache and told us we were just going to go hop the fence. After eagerly hopping the first fence of my life I gasped at a sign on the fence. "No Trespassing Federal Property." and it was then I concluded that GPS's are the technological frontlines of the machine takeover and decided to loathe them until I die.
My conclusion as a twelve-year-old was reconfirmed today as I drove out to pick up a new computer. I was driving west on this one freeway and then the GPS announced that I needed to get on this other one going north. Okay, no problem, as I headed north the GPS then announced that I needed to get on a joint freeway going south and then get back on the westward freeway I was on originally. WHAT?! I needed to go north to go south to get back on the freeway I was on twenty minutes before?! Grrrrrr. Needless to say I did not follow the GPS home.
What ever happened to good old paper maps? They won't deceive you, flip lines around that don't make sense, or tell you to exit onto a dirt road. I'm a fan of the old school map, it's not going to get you in to trouble. Seriously, one day someone's going to think the GPS is saying "When possible make illegal U-turn." and then the major smash up will only save the machines some effort in mastering humans. Man, I tell you if I were a conspiracy theorist.....
In any case, we were out looking for a geo-cache and the GPS told us to follow this small "path" off of the road. So like good little humans we marched out into this overgrown marsh-field thing, dutifully following the talking tech box. After a while my sister and I were doubting the GPS and the fence 400 feet away was looking more and more like a better place to be. "Are you sure about this dad? there's a fence between us and the road." "Yes Jenna, the GPS is still showing a path." "Ooookkkkkay...?" I replied doubtfully. I guess the sun finally started to bother him because he gave up on the geo-cache and told us we were just going to go hop the fence. After eagerly hopping the first fence of my life I gasped at a sign on the fence. "No Trespassing Federal Property." and it was then I concluded that GPS's are the technological frontlines of the machine takeover and decided to loathe them until I die.
My conclusion as a twelve-year-old was reconfirmed today as I drove out to pick up a new computer. I was driving west on this one freeway and then the GPS announced that I needed to get on this other one going north. Okay, no problem, as I headed north the GPS then announced that I needed to get on a joint freeway going south and then get back on the westward freeway I was on originally. WHAT?! I needed to go north to go south to get back on the freeway I was on twenty minutes before?! Grrrrrr. Needless to say I did not follow the GPS home.
What ever happened to good old paper maps? They won't deceive you, flip lines around that don't make sense, or tell you to exit onto a dirt road. I'm a fan of the old school map, it's not going to get you in to trouble. Seriously, one day someone's going to think the GPS is saying "When possible make illegal U-turn." and then the major smash up will only save the machines some effort in mastering humans. Man, I tell you if I were a conspiracy theorist.....
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